If

Mar. 11th, 2013 06:54 pm
little_passions: (optimism)
[personal profile] little_passions
Title: If
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Summary: If I could choose to hold your hand, there’ll be no words to say.

A sort of continuation drabble to [livejournal.com profile] taemun’s original drabble entitled When I See You From Afar, and named after, as well as partially inspired by this Filipino song.




Yunho believes in letting life take him wherever it wants. He’s a miniscule being in the grand spectrum of life - so really, he doesn’t want to waste time fighting the things that be. Here today and gone tomorrow, there’s no point in being too attached to anything because it can be gone in an instant.

He falls in love quickly and falls out of it just as swiftly, or at least – that’s how things used to go.

When did it start? He really has no clue whatsoever. Perhaps it was two years ago, after he’d broken up with some girl he met at a bar, but what he remembers most distinctly is seeing him the morning after. Just standing out on the street curb, possibly waiting for the bus or possibly waiting for a date, he was there, and for some reason, Yunho was entranced.

His initial reaction is acceptance. After all, there’s nothing wrong with finding a handsome stranger attractive, and lastly, the feelings are sure to go away. There’s nothing to build his attraction upon. He doesn’t know the other’s name, he doesn’t know where he lives, he doesn’t know where he goes to school or if he still even goes to school.

It’ll go away, he’s sure of it.

But the months pass, and the feelings don’t go away. Instead of his thoughts fading off and being replaced in favor of something else, they multiply and become uncontrollable. He fantasizes, thinking of situations where they’re more than just strangers in this big city, and then the next thing he knows, he can’t help but return to that street day after day.

His skateboard brings them closer, the sound of its wheels rolling against the cement of the sidewalk deafened by the anxious beating of his heart. They inch so close to one another that Yunho knows that if he reached his hand out and bridged the millimeters between them, he’d graze against the one he’s longed after for so long. Despite that knowledge, he keeps his arms away, and rolls past – keeping himself as nothing more than a fleeting blur in the timeline of the other’s life.

Will you ever remember me, he wonders, look at me and notice me -

Skateboarding is an escape for him, in more ways than one, and it keeps them apart.

He’s a coward, and as he flees, he acknowledges that, but what words will suffice? How can he explain what he feels for a stranger he’s never spoken to? Surely the other man recognizes him, after all an unruly skater in the midst of a sea of suited up workers and students would be hard to miss – but they still know nothing about one another.

Aside from that, he’s afraid of the other man - maybe, just maybe, if he speaks to his beloved stranger, the beautiful dream he’s built around him will be shattered. Yunho is too carried away in the river of his emotions, and he knows he’s spent far too long slipping past the other.

One day, he feels like the other is watching him. He lifts his head, his eyes moving away from his untied shoelaces, and catches the other looking at him. They hold one another’s gazes, and Yunho’s heart thuds in his chest. There is a busy street between them, but he can’t help but feel like the single moment has brought them closer.

Perhaps this distance is more self-imposed than he thought?

The next day, he’s determined. His skateboard is absent, and he walks, his eyes scanning the streets for that familiar face. He catches the other staring at the ground and makes his way, his feet carrying him through a distance that feels like a thousand miles.

There are only a few meters between them, and he slows down although his heart refuses to follow suit. His footsteps seem to shatter the silence shared between the two of them, and when he finally stops, his heart is beating so hard in his chest that he fears the other man may hear and flee from the intensity of his feelings.

They’re waiting for the street sign to turn green, a signal to cross, and the sign may change at any second. Yunho can feel the pressure, and before he can second guess himself for any longer, he speaks.

“Hey.”

His heart thuds at the rate of a thousand miles a second, and he wonders if perhaps he hadn’t really said the word aloud. Maybe it’s all a fantasy that’s playing out in his mind, or maybe he’s finally gone insane.

The other man turns to face him, and Yunho’s unsure of the kind of expression he’s making at that moment. Deep down he is both happy and afraid, his feelings are hard to handle, and the urge to flee is rising with each second of silence that passes. He wants the street sign to turn green, there’s no way the other will reply to him –

“Hey.”

The signal turns green.


Author’s Note: Firstly, so many, many, many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] taemun for letting me “continue” her already wonderful story. This is just a little drabble I had an urge to write after reading her story. I’m quite proud of it, and I hope it does justice to the story it was inspired by. ^^ Thank you for reading & commenting! ♥

Date: 2013-03-11 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] little-passions.livejournal.com
Spot for lovely Eeva~ ♥

Date: 2013-03-11 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taemun.livejournal.com
I'm like kind of overwhelmed still... You should've seen me trying to read this, it took me so long cause I kept squealing aloud so much xD It fits so well, and just... it's just perfect alright. Just perfect.

Idek why you felt like you wanted to write a conterpart/continuation but I am so glad you did.... cause now I know how Yunho was feeling all the while :D Now I know Yunho's point of view too... ;-;

Just

Date: 2013-03-11 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ligerliger.livejournal.com
CRIES THIS IS SO LOVELY
I love the tumult of emotions going through Yunho's mind and how he's battling himself just as much as Jaejoong is ;~~~; ahhh they're so cute THANK GOODNESS ONE OF THEM DID SOMETHING!
So sweet ;~~~~; I love Yunho's unexplainable attraction to him too ; o; cejfbrksnzkrn and the endinggg~ all that hope and progress ♥ flails

Date: 2013-03-11 11:28 am (UTC)

Date: 2013-03-12 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shineesoup.livejournal.com
Aaaaaaah this is adorable and works just perfectly with the other fic! Thank you :)

Date: 2013-03-11 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loveboojae.livejournal.com
me me me..
will be back later~

Date: 2013-03-12 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yoochunforehead.livejournal.com
this is really lovely ~ ♥

Date: 2013-03-11 12:47 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-03-11 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leesayori.livejournal.com
It's really good. I almost felt tired with the onslaught of emotions Yunho going through. This really calls for a sequel

Date: 2013-03-11 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katie3863.livejournal.com
This was cute and sweet!

Date: 2013-03-11 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dulanis.livejournal.com
Love it :) ♥

Date: 2013-03-11 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] donud.livejournal.com
spot~~

Date: 2013-03-11 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snow-meow.livejournal.com
Interesting.
The way you left it hanging let's readers speculate what happens next.

Date: 2013-03-11 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ultamatempa.livejournal.com
takes guts to start a conversation, good job yunho!

Date: 2013-03-11 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phinea2009.livejournal.com
This is so good.

Date: 2013-03-12 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wasur3naid3.livejournal.com
Awe! never have I thought just a simple "hey" from them could make make me feel so fluffy~ :D

Date: 2013-03-14 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaerin17.livejournal.com
Hey to you two waiting cupcakes. Mind to start something that will lead to something more? Fuuuu~ I want moooooore~!!! :)))

Date: 2013-03-15 11:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tanya-h24.livejournal.com
asdfhkjh :"D me love this.
thanks for sharing <3

Date: 2013-07-18 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samo99ro.livejournal.com
Wow! What can I say? I cannot compare your story with taemun's. There's nothing to be compared. Same subject, indeed, but treated in veeery different writing maners. So, not to be compared, but analyzed in paralell. They are both just perfect and are completing one another.

In "When I see you from afar" we have a very short period of time (something like several minutes). Short enough to make it intense, to make your heart beating faster, and rapidly go to your butterflies to calm them down.
Do they have enough time to meet eventually? Yes? No? They better do... And the heart beats faster...
And the end [I told you taemun (http://taemun.livejournal.com/50788.html#t720740) you're the Grandmaster of the open endings] opens the path for a new chapter with a word: "Hey!"

"If" covers a longer period. Here we find out the beginnings, the acknowledgement, the longing, the purity of their feelings, the hope. Splendid description indeed. And the butterflies are there, a little bit nervous... And they meet - again - with the same hope, in the same moment as in the other story; the end, opening a path to another possible story, with the same frustrating word: "Hey!"

Now, you both should say "Hey!" to each other and start writing maybe a oneshot. Because... they met. And? This is it? Do you realize how frustrated we are? You are the authors, you write the rest of the story for us!

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